Where's the love?

Do you remember dreaming of what kind of person you'd end up with?
I did, and all the dreams were connected to my silver screen obsessions. I was exposed to old classics and musicals when i was young by my mom. She was always about the music or dance. I never caught her dancing but i always knew she did when i wasn't there. :)

We used to stay up late nights watching Marx Brothers, Dick Powell, William Powell, Judy Garland, Ginger Rogers, Ruby Keeler, Gene Kelly... you name them, i probably watched them! And the DUO couples we're the BEST! I used to sit there, Indian style on the floor, being envious of these women. I wanted to sing the best, dance the best, and love the best.
I tried my best with the singing and dancing... but i really got lucky when it came to love.

I always remember there being alot of love in my house too. My mom and dad always were close and they too, were close to me. So when i watched Myrna Loy and William Powell being Nick and Nora; bickering, i always saw my parents too. Which always led my imagination to...



Who would i be with??

Now I've had my experiences of dead beats, losers, users, etc. I've made my mistakes and (THANK GOODNESS) i learned from my mistakes. Finally making the discovery of my lifetime... My Love Matthew.
And now, in him, i can see all the men i once adored on the screens. Its not his looks, his style, his presence, his dancing abilities...
Its just - HIM.

So i can still oogle at the men of my silver screen past, knowing that I've found the real deal.

Drink. Drank. Drunk.

What is with society today, that binge drinking is highly acceptable? Even encouraged!
In the united states between 1920 til 1933, alcohol was prohibited. Why? Due to its alleged detrimental effect on human behavior. Now we all know that this was not enforced the way it was intended, and although prohibition was suppose to lower crime rates, it actually helped fuel the rising crimes further for the "secret" demand of alcohol. However, general nuisance and petty crimes were on a low. Despite of this being unsuccessful, there was a understandable reason for the ban.
So there were laws: drunk and disorderly is the best example. Along with no open containers.

But what does the UK have? Not a great deal...
High crime rates down to drinking, more violence caused my drinking, lower drinking age to enable 13yr old to drink cheap vino in the local park without the fear of a ticket much less anything else... the list continues!

It must be an American outlook that's adjusted my thoughts... but it is different over there.
Drinking Age 21. If you look under 25, you WILL be asked for I.D. and if you don't produce, you don't get served. Simple as.
You cannot have a open air container off a drinking premises. Walking around on a Saturday afternoon, with a six pack under your arm, sipping one of them down as you sunbathe is NOT the done thing. TICKET TIIIIIME.

But also, as a teenager growing up in California there were three things that we're on the "To-Do List"... Get a Licence, Turn 18, Turn 21.
Turning 21 was this holy grail of adulthood that we were all so eager to get. The freedom, the new experience, the way that holding a drink at a bar will SCREAM "I am legal. talk to me."

Now at a legal age, what you'd really be screaming is "I'm Easy. Sleep with me" but i believe that's a learning curve.

So now I'm nearly in my mid-twenties and I'm suddenly struggling to see the constant appeal of binge drinking...

Don't get me wrong! I enjoy a drink, I love cocktails and happy hour with my friends but I don't see the appeal of going out with the sole purpose to get absolute trashed. Waking up at 3am in your going out clothes, makeup smeared, feeling slightly soiled, feeling like the room is spinning as you lay still, your head slightly throbbing and a constant ringing in your ears. Suddenly finding bruises or cuts that you cant remember getting... then struggling to remember most of your evening including how you got home. Noticing things are missing from your purse including the money you took out. Taking a a day or two with some interrogations of friends to piece together your night.

And that is an example of GOOD nights out I've heard. We wont wander down the line of one night stands and beyond.

But what made that a good night?!because you cant remember? because your feet will throb for two days from the crippling heels? because your friend had that gruesome picture of you pretending to fellatio a beer bottle (classy, by the way)? because you've just spent a quarter of your pay on this "awesome" night out?

In my eyes, its just not freakin worth it. So if you think it is, and you ever want to go out on a Saturday night, i can guarantee that i will be busy that night.

Man... i really hate that guy...

Is it just me, or has everyone in their lifetime come across someone they just suddenly realised, was a total douche?

I know the word isn't pleasant but its a accurate description of some people... and don't you dare sit there and deny it. I bet you can think of one right now. Maybe even a few!
But it still doesn't distract from the fact that when you catch up with an old friend, co-worker, or family member, its very jarring to your memories (and better taste) to realise their just not a nice person. And i MEAN not a nice person. Ugly. To their deepest core. Nothing redeeming... at. all.

SO how do you deal with it? Do you grin and bear it? Do you avoid them? Do you cut them out of your life? What the HELL do you do?!

I suppose the only way you can deal with it, is when you're dealing with it yourself...
So, how do i deal it???


I try to grin and bear it, then i try to avoid them at all costs (lucky for me, I've got plenty of land and sea between most of the people i know ;)), and finally I'd kiss them goodbye.
Because honestly, no matter if they're blood/previous kinder-spirit/drinking buddy... whatever, Who needs ugly people in their lives?

I sure don't.

Keep your ugly heart and personality away from me... because they haven't made medication for that yet :)

where did i lose myself?

I was stood in the middle of my work, shouting at two people, i had a surreal moment. It was as if i could see myself from a third person view. I saw myself waving my hands, pointing, getting irrate and felt this overwhelming surge of sadness.


In any case i am totally validated in being angry but as i was getting more angry, i was feeling sad as well. Where did this screaming woman come from? When did i lose sight of being calm and cool? When did i lose myself?

My parents are always good at reminising and in these stories im always stunned on how they used to describe me when i was younger. I was so easily calmed with a slice of strawberry pie, i looked forward to lazying around in the local embassy suite lobby and watching koi, and waking up on a saturday morning listening to my mom playing music was the best...
When i was about 5 and in kindergarden, i had a schoolfriend that lived with her grandmother and used to wear the same clothing constantly. I was caught one morning, hiding extra clothing in my backpack to take to her because i wanted to give her them.
I vaguely remember playing in the bedroom with Robert, watching after him when i could.
When Andrew fell off the jungle gym and broke his arm, i was the first one there trying to calm him before the teachers came.
When Roberto had a freak accident with a pencil that ended up going THROUGH his hand, I was the only student in the room to believe him and MAKE the teacher see him.

Now i don't feel the same sympathy OR empathy for anyone. I go on daily, thinking the people around me should be euthanised. I select only a few people that i can talk to...
But when did i lose that caring side? Where did it go all wrong?

I suppose i should try to be content with how i am now, but it still saddens me.

I, in general, hate people... but i wish i could see the beauty in humanity.

Basic Information ALL women should know...

1. waxing is painful. period.
   i hate watching these adverts that say "its all natural" so its virtually painless. VIRTUALLY PAINLESS is a hint for this hurts but we dont want to say. You should only wax if you're desperate or lucky to have a high tolerance for pain...
   Bottom line: Unless you're numb or dead, it still hurts!
   
   
2. leggings are exactly that: LEGGINGS.
   working in fashion you notice what people wear, ALOT. Even what you were to your store shows some sort of style however there is one "fashion staple" that has been dug up from the closet and is now rampant on our streets: leggings.
   they're a good idea in theory. something light that you can wear under long tops or dresses that arent tights. Some people look better in them than others (like most fashion) but alot of people i see just dont get the POINT of leggings.
   THESE ARE NOT TROUSERS PEOPLE!!! the amount of people i see wearing them as a subsitute for trousers or jeans. They're partially see through and quite unflattering.
   
   
3. stool softner: NOT table talk
   Despite all the adverts, no group of women gather for lunch and end up swapping medications. They dont chat about how hard it is to pass anything, or whats cramping lately. Its just not what happens. EVER.
   
   More to come :)
   

I am BACK peoples :)

So after many life changes and a long absence, im BAAAAAAAAAACK!

Updates:
I've got a promotion at work - Full time at a different store!
We're planning next years holiday :) October 2011 *woop woop*
AND im joining Slimming world soon...

More updates soon <3

My Stupidity Strikes Again... (shocker)

So last night, i was going to bed and my boyfriend decided to clean out his side drawers. YAY. lol
well i was quiet and all of a sudden I heard a *shhhhlok* and turned around to find him with a little suction cup.

Apparently its for removing small flat lightblubs that are flush into the ceiling. WELL he thought it'd be funny to attack me with it, sticking it to my arms... face... neck, whatever he could see.

He thought to stick it to my forehead would be funny... which was at first. Until we realized i have a very flat forehead and it got stuck. We were giggling and he decided to try to YANK it off my head "OUCH!!!" and i had to try to lift the edge off.

AND when it was off, there was... and i quote "just a faint little circle on your forehead" as he muffled his laughes. I went to the bathroom to see that first, HE IS FULL OF CRAP! and secondly, i had a perfectly round purple spot in the MIDDLE OF MY HEAD!

We tried to ice it, and he said it was going down (while laughing still) but we now all remember the fact he's a big butt liar. And i fell asleep to wake up to it being WORSE. in fact, my makeup doesnt even cover it!

Not amused at all. definitely NOT amused. But dont worry kids, he will pay.





OH how he will pay....